What a month …

What a month …

So much has happened this month. Actually, it didn’t ‘happen’. I created it.

What a great distinction …. ‘Happened’ versus ‘created’.

I breathed life into two of my big dreams. For now, I’ll share dream #1.

I’ve been a ‘van girl’ for several years. Me and my pretty little van became besties after I was ‘ejected’ from a relationship with a MX5 (and the man who bought it for me).

Together, we (my van and me) created a new way of being. We found stillness, adventure, and opportunity. We shared storm-chasing days, and days of complete serenity in the peaceful secret coves of Cornwall.

As part of my choice to live intentionally, I’m consciously choosing stillness. And with that stillness on the inside, comes headspace. I have time to think. Time to be creative. Time to breathe life into my dreams.

And so, I did! On 15th May, I became the very excited owner of a beautiful, just right for me, auto-sleeper. The possibilities are endless. And real.

This morning (17th May) I woke up at the beach. I swam, I smiled, my heart sang. I’m creating my reality.

People around me have said things like “Wow, that was quick”, or “You did what!?!”. They’re curious with me. “How did you make such a big decision so quickly?” they’ve asked.

I share my secret with them …. I am connected to my stillness. Well, re-connected. Because for too many years I was living in “when and then” …. continually putting my dreams on the back-burner for “one day”. “One day” never comes.

In this place of stillness, I’m creating more joy, more adventure, and more being-ness. I no longer ask myself “Surely there’s more to life”, because I know I’m living my best one.

Imagine letting go of your “one day”. What would you do next?

Creating stillness…

I create stillness for busy people.

This isn’t about physical stillness, although that happens during our conversations. It’s about stillness of the thinking mind. It’s within that stillness that the miracles happen.

When the thinking ‘noise’ quietens, settling like the sea after a storm, gradually the sea becomes crystal clear. It’s the same with our thoughts.

Yesterday I shared my experience of stillness, from the inside. “How did you do that?” I was asked. People are curious. They notice a change in me, in who I'm being, and they want to understand more. They experience time with me and they ‘feel’ my stillness. It’s like an ‘aura’. It’s tangible. “I want some of what you’ve got”, they declare.

And so, here’s my ‘how’ ….

I started working with a coach. Gradually at first. The odd session ‘as and when’. My ‘intention’ was there but my ‘commitment to action’ was way behind.

Fast forward to this year and I’ve committed to a 12-month agreement with my coach. Why? Because I know the power of the impact that working with a coach will have. Someone in my corner. Someone for me to open up deeply to, who doesn’t have any ‘advice’ or ‘judgement’ on me. He doesn’t give advice or make assumptions. He simply listens. And in that stillness we create, I open up and I let go. I feel held. I feel heard.

It’s not a ‘doing’ thing. It’s a ‘being’ thing. There are plenty of ways to create ‘stillness in a busy world’, but it’s the purity of stillness on the inside where I’ve found peace, serenity and a deep trust in being present.

It’s a way of being. There’s nothing to be done. Everything is as it should be.

I am where I am supposed to be. I am being who I need to be. In every moment.

And that’s what I do now … I create stillness, clarity and freedom for busy people. And that’s where their miracles start to take shape.

How would having thought-stillness change things for you …?

“People don’t want coaching. They want possibility.”

“People don’t want coaching. They want possibility.”

I love these words by Steve Chandler.

I’ve worked with a coach at various times during the last fifteen years to help me through life’s pivots and plot twists, sometimes unexpected, and sometimes planned. Either way, working with a coach helped me through those changes.

Fast forward to December 2023. One of the outcomes from those life pivots has been diving into a 12-month coaching experience. It’s my “hell yes”. I am all in.

What’s my overarching reason for choosing this path? To dive deeply into who I’m being and to explore what’s in my ‘impossible’ folder and make it possible. This time it isn’t about reacting to something unexpected and needing help.

I don’t need ‘fixing’. There’s nothing ‘wrong’. It’s about owning my journey. It’s my conscious choice. That feels incredible. Empowering.

I’m leaning over the edge of what’s possible and seeing what’s there on the other side. The possibility we’re creating together for me is off the scale. I’m breathing life into my dreams.

I’m showing up differently. I notice more and think less. From that quietened mind comes the space to grow.

I have more of everything. More clarity. More confidence. More spirit. More stillness. More self-belief. More momentum.

Through our work together I’m believing in what could be possible …. seeing that there’s always another mountain to climb, always something more to learn about myself, always the opportunity for fresh perspective and new ideas. My ‘impossible dreams’ are becoming my reality.

Personal transformation from the inside out.

Who I’m choosing to be is shaping what I’d doing. What I’m doing is shaping what I have.

I’m re-writing my story. I’m creating new possibilities for myself, every day. I’m owning my future.

And I’m creating possibilities for my clients:

“Wow! I didn’t know I needed that! It’s blown my mind.” was my client’s feedback after our conversation yesterday.

He’d come to our session feeling a bit resentful, a bit troubled, by people around him. “They’re not playing full out” he shared. “They made me feel drained, frustrated, dissapointed. I don’t understand them.”

Together we took a deep dive into the stories he’s creating. About them. About himself. Deeper and deeper. At his pace.

“It’s me!” he realised. “It’s me. I’m not playing full out. I’m creating brick walls around myself to keep me safe. I’m holding myself back.”

We got curious about what would be different if he did play full out, without fear. Without the story he was creating.

It flowed ….. “I’d be creative and respected and revered. I’d be an incredible musician. I’d be a magnet, attracting brilliance by being brilliant. My career would grow, my business would grow.”

“How do you need to be showing up?” I asked him. “I need to be showing up 100% - as a person, as a colleague, in my relationships, in my leisure time.” he stared.

“I didn’t know I needed that [conversation] today.” he reflected, “But I needed that insight. My blind spot is in the spotlight.” Once he saw that, he created even more possibility for himself.

The power of a coaching conversation, priceless.

There’s always time …

What if the thing you don’t have time for is exactly what you need ….? 

During a conversation with my coach this week, we explored my thoughts about time.

“I don’t have time to rest” I declared, very convincingly. Together we unpeeled the layers of my thinking and my beliefs about that.

My story gently unfolded …. a story where resting time is wasted time. I pride myself on being busy, constantly. I pride myself on packing as much as I can into every day. Stillness, for me, hasn’t been something I’ve chosen to make time for.

“It doesn’t all have to be constant” said my very wise coach. Revelation moment.

A couple of months ago I revisited my values, and without realising it, I’ve been out of alignment with my value of grace; where ‘grace’ is the willingness to move through life with harmony, presence and alignment.

I’ve been so busy doing everything on my ever-growing to do list, that harmony and alignment have taken a back seat. As I write that, I notice the language I’m using. As though life is ‘happening’ to me, as though I have no choice or control. No agency.

So, I’m inviting in more ‘grace’ …. compassion, empathy, and harmony for myself.

Every day I am asking myself “What’s meaningful for me today?”. I’m slowing down, checking in, and noticing what I need. I’m designing my days. I realise I do have agency over my time, over my life.

Intentionality is key – and it starts with my thoughts.

These words by Amy Johnson PH.D. resonated with me:

“The more you understand that your experience of life is entirely thought created and that “you” aren’t what you think you are, your attachment to feelings – good and bad – begins to shift.”

This morning, I’m intentionally choosing to rest. Time for me. Time for stillness. I’m not too busy. I’m not wasting my time. I’m recharging and restoring.

Rest, as it turns out, is exactly what I need, and there is time. Always.

Diving into sixty …

2024 is the 60th anniversary of me 🎉.

I remember becoming 40. I remember thinking “If life begins at 40 (so ‘they’ say), is this it?” ☺️.

Looking back over those 20 years, I see it was the beginning of my ‘redesign’.

The decade from 50 has been amazing …. I’ve grown as a mother and a daughter. I’ve created more opportunities for myself, personally and professionally.

And, at 57, I chose to follow my heart and create a new career!

I’d realised something was missing from my life. What was this ‘purpose and fulfilment’ everyone was talking about? Where was mine? I felt empty, uninspired, and as though my path (you know the one) was ‘retirement’ ….. sort the garden out, redecorate the house, and then what?

So, over three very rainy days in Cornwall in May 2021 and a lot of research later, I’d created the first stepping stone towards bringing my dream to life; to formalise what I’d been doing forever - I started my training as a Transformational Life Coach.

The rest, as ‘they’ also say ‘is history’. I’m learning and growing more as I dive into sixty than I ever had. I’m inspired. I’m excited. I’m energised. I have fulfilment and purpose in bucket loads.

Lots of people tell me “You should be slowing down …. you’re nearly 60!.” (Should’ 🥹). They chose to slow down. And that’s their choice.

I choose to keep learning, keep growing, keep creating. It feels like an ‘ascension’.

My 2024 commitment, in my 60th year, is ‘more’. More against each of my values …. Grace, Abundance, Daring, Community, and Uniqueness. I’m owning it.

As I deep dive into 2024, I know it’s not about ‘getting to’ somewhere, it’s about momentum, learning, growing, climbing, soaring - continual transformation. It’s about ‘being’, and becoming me.

I feel lighter and brighter. I feel joyful. I'm excited to see what unfolds. I’m ready for miracles.

It’s my choice to create my future from the future. It’s my choice to bring my dreams to life.

It reminded me of some beautiful words that the gorgeous Nadia Jiwa-Patel shared with me last summer ….

“You are a force of nature. I am so inspired by who you are as a mum, daughter, and every role that you play. 
You are a stand for what can be created at any age. I love how you take care of yourself and play full out. 
You are smashing through all limitations and creating so much.”

Yessss…. that’s exactly how I feel.

During a conversation recently with a client who’s approaching 50, she asked me “What’s next? Does this have to be it?” We talked about that. A lot. Together we’re re-writing her story. Re-designing her future. Moving away from the ‘default’ version, and into creating miracles territory.

There’s always more. More seas to swim. More mountains to climb. More choices to create.

I love these words:

“On a Spiritual level, at 60, we have become aware of gratitude at a higher level. We look at life with a glass half full attitude. This alone is one of the big advantages of aging. We see things in a more colorful light as if our senses have been heightened. At 40, we are still going through the motions without smelling the roses.” [Huff Post].

It’s all about our mindset. It’s only ‘too late’ when we’re dead.

Reflections …

Before I dive into 2024, I’m taking time to reflect on the year that’s almost ended.

2023 is, for sure, the year of my greatest personal and professional transformation. It’s been about my ‘H.O.W.’ year. I’ve been Honest, Open, and Willing to do the things I’ve been dreaming about.

It started this time last year. I crossed paths with Sachin* who was to become pivotal this year. We opened up a conversation that turned into another conversation. After the 3rd conversation I’d booked onto his LAMRON Intensive. (Hop over to LinkedIn and search #LAMRONintensive). I’d willingly agreed to spend three days in London, in March 2023, with thirty-four strangers. Absolutely life changing.  Beliefs I’d held close for years started to evaporate.

It turns out that I love a room full of strangers. It turns out that I’m able to talk eloquently and people listen. It turns out that I’m already coaching people. I have thirty-four new forever friends. People who I feel privileged to know. People who love to share, to support, and to help me see what’s possible.

Within weeks of returning from London, I’d taken another deep dive out of my ‘comfort zone’. This time it was to spend “six days on a farm” (Sorry Sachin 😉). So, in June, I headed to the incredibly beautiful Fair Oak Farm set in High Weald AONB. I’d said yes to six whole days with twelve beautiful souls for the LAMRON Business Intensive, lead once again by Sachin.

What a week. Six whole days unpeeling layers of beliefs that I no longer needed. Finding clarity there about myself, about my heart, about my potential, and about what’s possible.

Each of those twelve new friends saw me. Deeply saw me. I left there with no ‘comfort zones’. It’s been freeing and mind-blowing to have shed so much tired emotion and beliefs that had been keeping me safe, and holding me back.

At the end of those six days, Sachin shared these words with me:

“Kate, I saw you really come to life and lean into your edges this week. It is so inspiring to see you being a stand for yourself and giving you what you need. You amaze me with the grace with which you approach your growth and the way you’re stepping into the unknown. Thank you for teaching me what it looks like to let go with love.”

More words from another incredible woman who was part of the LAMRON Business Immersion …

“Kate, you are a force of nature. I am so inspired by who you are as a mum, a daughter, and every role that you play. You are a stand for what can be created at any age. I love how you take care of yourself and play full out. You are smashing through all limitations and creating so much.”

I’m learning so much about myself, going deeply into the essence of me, and I feel like a butterfly is emerging. As I dive into 2024, I’ve already signed up to the next level of my work on myself with another outstanding coach. Keep on learning. Keep on growing.

It’s six months to the day to my 60th birthday. This is, for sure, my best chapter ever.

We teach what we most need to learn. I help people to unpeel their layers and see their own diamond shining brightly inside of them. I help people to create their what’s next, with confidence and self-belief. I’m a thinking partner and a possibility finder. I am for others, what others have been for me.

* https://www.linkedin.com/in/sachin-sharma-life-and-business-coach-907aa916b/

It’s dark outside …

With the days being shorter now, I invited in yoga. Well, it’s more of a “hello again, yoga” to be honest. I love yoga. I love how I feel when I experience the peace it creates in my mind and body. And so, for the winter months, I’ve become a 9pm yoga girl. Instead of committing to the sofa and the biscuit tin, I roll out my yoga mat.

I’m loving it. I sleep even more peacefully. I wake up feeling refreshed. And happy.

Another reflection for November came to me after the lovely Katie Treggiden https://www.instagram.com/katietreggiden.1/#  shared this quote by Arthur Ashe:

“Start where you are.
Use what you have.
Do what you can.”

Here are my musings ☺️

Where am I?
⚓️ I’ve created a coaching practice
⚓️ I’m still learning, still growing, still loving what I do
⚓️ I’m forever inspired by my clients’ transformations
⚓️ I’m energised from having become a lifelong learner

What do I have?
⚓️ A quiet energy that creates instant connection
⚓️ Masses of lived experience that brings compassion, empathy, inner-sense, and an open mind
⚓️ A warm kindness and a sense of fun that I weave into every moment

What can I do (today)
⚓️ Create more opportunities for conversations
⚓️ Make choices based on my values … Daring, grace, abundance, community and uniqueness
⚓️ Keep loving, believing, and swimming

November 2023 will forever be the month I swam with someone who knew me long before I was a sea swimmer…. That’s a story for another time.

See you here, again, on December 17th.

About time …

And just like that, it’s October.

Following on from my 17th September musings, this month has been about investing time, rather than spending it.

Imagine seeing time as something useful, a wonderful tool, rather than seeing it as something you’re constantly battling against. What if time was your accomplice to be living the life you want? What if you moved away from “there’s never enough” to “I have all the time in the world?”. When we focus on what we don’t have, we don’t have it. If you’re coming from a place of “I don’t have time”, you won’t have time.

I invite you to track your time, hour by hour, for a few days and reflect on what you notice. I tracked my time for five days, WOW! I’ve been telling myself that time evaporates, as if there’s no connection to the choices I make. I remember my coach saying to me “Stop living like you’re never going to die”. When it’s put like that, it’s a real reminder to cherish time and use it wisely; to appreciate the value of it and understand that it will run out ….

And so, I’m cherishing time much more as the gift that it is. I’m consciously choosing to create time – for myself, for my family and for my business. I’m slowing down. I’m creating space - that place where our attention intersects with the present moment. And, when we’re present, life is richer. Time is abundant.

Nowhere do I feel it more than with my mum. She’s 87. I noticed her saying to me “I know you’re busy but….” before everything she asked me. I felt sad. My commitment to her, and to myself, is that I create space for us, every day. We drive, we visit new places, we picnic, we watch the sea. We slow down, together. There’s an abundance of time, joy and calm now. We’re focussing on making memories. No more racing against the clock. No more “I need to squeeze in a Mum visit”.

And when I need time just for me, it’s at the beach. Swimming every day. The effect of that moment of cold-water immersion is incredible. As I breathe through the coldness, calm flows in. The head noise stops. I’m present. Nothing before. Nothing after. Just the moment. Once my thoughts are settled, there’s more space for new thinking. It’s circular. It’s magical.

I’ve started to plan my days with more care. It’s not all about work. It’s about making time for stillness and space too. Time to replenish and restore.  Between now and next month’s musings, I’m committing to a redesign of my mornings. It’s not about what I’m “giving up”, it’s about what I’m inviting in. Before the hour changes, I become a bit of a snoozer so I’m going to create a refreshing routine to shine a light on myself during the darker mornings. I’ll let you know how I get on.

Until then,

Kate

I’m diving in …

I love to write, and I love to share. ‘Find Your Anchors: The Blog’ is how I’m choosing to blend these loves. It’s my time to create space between the waves, to find stillness and to press pause.  My time to reflect on the month that’s just ended, and the one just beginning.

So, hello. Let’s dive in.

It’s 17th September 2023. My first blog post. Three months after my 59th birthday. Just saying that brings so many thoughts and emotions up for me. If life is a book full of chapters, this is the best chapter so far.

It wasn’t until I was almost fifty that I started to bloom. It’s funny how the unexpected can be the making of us. It was for me. I’m full of potential that I hadn’t realised was there. Capable of so much more than I knew. I dare to be different, trust in my uniqueness and follow my heart.

I had no idea, back then, what I’d create. It’s been partly about timing, partly about opportunity and partly about an inner knowing that I wanted lots more from life after 60. Retirement in the ‘traditional’ sense isn’t on my radar. I’m designing my life. Learning. Growing. Daring. Trusting.

I’ve invested time recently to explore my values. I realise my old values were a ‘hangover’ from a different chapter so, over the last month, I’ve refreshed them. Here they are ….

To be DARING - always. With my learning, my growth, my excellence and my work

To lead with GRACE - inspiring, intuitive, curious, mindful, happy, authentic and at peace

To trust my UNIQUENESS - as an independent, resilient woman living freely and joyfully

To create ABUNDANCE - of health, wealth, love, playfulness and simplicity

To thrive within each chosen COMMUNITY - family, friends, professional groups, clients, and peers

From this, I’ve written my business mission and vision:

My mission: To inspire and empower others to create a life full of purpose, joy and authentic fulfilment. 

My vision: To create a world where women aged 50 and beyond embrace their innate potential, awaken their purpose, cultivate fulfilment, and craft a life they wholeheartedly love.

This links back to something that happened earlier this summer. Someone I deeply respect shared these words with me: “You are a stand for what can be created at any age. You are smashing through limitations and creating so much”.

‘Find Your Anchors: The Blog’ is an outcome of that inspiration. There might be a pattern to these monthly musings, or there might not.

For this first blog, I’m focusing on my value of ‘abundance’.

It’s defined as “a state where nothing is lacking and so complete that nothing can diminish it” [spiritual abundance].

Abundance, for me, correlates with positive thinking; it anchors my belief that there’s enough out there for everyone. Enough love, happiness, time, wealth, and playfulness. It’s an energy. A momentum. An attraction. It’s about creating and receiving.

For the coming month, I’ll be focusing on time: creating an abundance of it by looking at where I can ‘invest’ it, rather than ‘spend it’ like it’ll never run out.

If you’re feeling that time is slipping through your fingers, take a look at where you’re ‘spending it’.

What could you choose to do differently, to create more time for yourself?

What would you do with the time you saved?

How would that make you feel?

Thanks for creating time between your waves to read my musings. That’s it, for now.

My commitment: to show up on the 17th of every month; to create space between the waves, drop anchor, and stay awhile.

Kate